5 Ways to Shift Rigid Thinking
Today, we are talking about different ways of rigid thinking that can show up in our relationship with food and ways to shift to more flexible and fluid ways of thinking.
5 Ways to Shift Rigid Thinking
Dichotomous Thinking
Also known as binary, black-and-white, and/or all-or-nothing thinking. This type of thinking is one of the most common ones I see as a therapist specializing in eating disorders. With this type of thinking, there are usually only 2 options. One option is correct, good, acceptable, safe, and the other is bad, wrong, unsafe, incorrect.
Operating from a place of black-and-white thinking can feel really helpful and safe for a lot of people (hence why it’s so common). If there are only two options, it can cut down on overthinking or second-guessing. It leaves less room for ‘messing up’ or making the wrong choice.
Black-and-white thinking often has a morality component to it as well. If you make a good choice, then you are good. Bad choices might end up meaning you are bad. This type of thinking can be rooted in attempts to achieve perfection or appear correct or acceptable. And, it can show up in other areas of life, not just in your relationship with food (more on that in a future post!).
Ready for a shift?
Aim for the gray. For some, operating in the gray can feel scary because of the unknown, past trauma, fear of not being able to handle it, and the difficulty in shifting to a new way of thinking after operating on the extremes for so long. But, the gray can elicit empowerment, attunement, growth, and more.
Operating in the gray requires patience and moving slowly. Rather than trying to overhaul everything at once, focus on one thing - one thought, one behavior, one feeling, one food item or meal. Build awareness and get curious about it.
Absolutist Thinking
Also known as Magical Thinking, this way of thinking is characterized by believing that one behavior will absolutely result in a second behavior. Absolutist thinking uses words or phrases like should, supposed to, need to, and must. I often hear this phrased like this:
“If I let myself that one cupcake, I will inevitably eat 5 more!’
“I need to follow this meal plan exactly because if I don’t, I’ll just eat everything in sight!”
“I should go to the gym today. If I don’t, I’ll just stop going altogether!”
This way of thinking could be used as a form of protection - protecting your system from the unknown or possibly hard, scary, or uncomfortable things. The trouble with this way of thinking is that the first behavior/thought might not result in the presumed second. Just because something happened once, does not mean it will happen again or even every time.
Ready for a shift?
Incorporate flexible, permissive statements. Aim for words like can, is okay, may, making the choice to have, and giving permission to. One goal of intuitive eating is to empower folks to allow themselves unconditional permission to eat all foods. If you find yourself practicing this type of thinking, try exploring flexible, permissive statements and see how they feel.
Another option is to start with the magical thought. Let’s take this statement: “If I allow myself that one cupcake, I will inevitably eat 5 more!” Why would you eat 5 more? Do you allow cupcakes regularly in your life? Are they labeled as a bad food? What would make it difficult to stop after one? What’s wrong with eating 5? This is what building awareness and curiosity can look like. Even if you decide to not eat any cupcakes because you’re afraid you’ll eat 5, the conversation in your head about the cupcakes has started to shift. Cool, huh?!
Catastrophic Thinking
This way of thinking is characterized by exaggerated thoughts, statements, or beliefs that can potentially lead to extreme behaviors. This might sound like:
I’ll never be able to like my body.
If I let myself eat ‘bad foods’, I’ll never stop.
No one will ever want to date me because of my body.
Tribole and Resch say of catastrophic thinking, “It makes a bad situation worse and ties all of your future successes in life to your ability to eat in a particular way or to changing your body [1].” Friends, you are more than a body. I know diet culture wants you to believe otherwise, but you have so much more to offer the world than your body and ability to eat perfectly.
Ready for a shift?
Climb out of the abyss. Treat yourself like you would treat a friend or loved one. Replace the exaggerated statements with more accurate and positive OR neutral statements. What would it look like to shift the way you speak about yourself? If you aren’t sure where to start, recruit a friend, therapist, coach, or mentor to help you figure out a good place to start!
Pessimistic Thinking
Do you see the worst-case scenario in every situation? Is it easy to criticize or blame yourself (or others)? Does appreciating small successes feel impossible? This way of thinking often looks at things from a glass-half-empty perspective.
Ready for a shift?
Make the glass half-full. This shift can be as simple as shifting “I ate so many sweets this week!” to “I did eat a lot of sweets, but I also ate other foods I enjoyed as well!” While it is sometimes recommended to shift a negative statement into a positive one (that can be really helpful!), it can also be helpful to shift from negative to neutral, especially if positive statements feel difficult.
Linear Thinking
Diet plans promote linear thinking. You follow a plan, with no deviations, you see changes, those changes stick, and you never diet again! Not exactly how it works, right? How many times have you fallen off the ‘dieting’ wagon? How many times has life gotten in the way of your ‘wellness plan’? You’ve likely heard the idea that change isn't linear and it applies here too. Linear thinking is like aiming for perfection - something that does not exist. This means every time you deviate from the line of perfection, you will always feel like you never measure up.
Ready for a shift?
Practice process thinking. This way of thinking focuses on continual change and learning (by building awareness and curiosity!), rather than an end goal. With my intuitive eating coaching clients, many start by treating IE like a diet. They must go through all the principles, in order, and once they get to the end of the workbook, they should be an intuitive eater. Life does not work like this, neither does intuitive eating. Focusing on the process rather than a specific end result allows room for flexibility, adaptability, curiosity, new insights, and more. This way of thinking also works really well with life because it allows you to shift with your seasons of life.
What do all these have in common?
All these ways of thinking tend to leave you feeling stuck. They can be rigid and lack flexibility. The shifts offered allow for flexibility, adaptability, empowerment, attunement, spontaneity, and general enjoyment in life. It can be really difficult to make the shifts, especially living in diet culture, but they are possible.
Moving Forward
If you or someone you know is looking for support, feel free to reach out to our Team by visiting the contact page.
[1] Tribole, E., & Resch, E. (2020, June 23). Intuitive Eating, 4th Edition (Updated). St. Martin’s Essentials.
Collaborative Counseling & Nutrition is an outpatient nutrition and body image counseling center, with locations in Indianapolis and Carmel, that provides compassionate, holistic eating disorder treatment. Through practicing mindfulness, intuition, and Health At Every Size, we are on a mission to help you find a true state of well-being! We take an anti-diet, weight-inclusive approach with all our clients and work to help guide you towards a way of healthy living designed by you, just for you! This post is for education purposes only and should not be used as a substitute for treatment for an eating disorder. If you are looking for a registered dietitian or therapist to assist you on your recovery journey, please reach out today!
