Ask the Team: What do I talk about in therapy today??
Have you ever started your therapy session and when your therapist asks what you want to discuss that day, you say ‘I don’t know.’ Or, ‘I’m not sure.’ Or, ‘Nothing much.’ You are not alone! In today’s Ask the Team, we are diving into some topics of conversation when you don’t know what to talk about.
What to talk about in therapy (when you aren’t sure what to talk about)
First, let’s start by saying that it’s more than okay to go into a therapy session and not know what to talk about. Whether it’s because you’ve had a stressful week, you aren’t sure how your therapist might be able to help or respond in a certain situation, you don’t feel comfortable enough to open up about a specific topic yet, or something else - we’ve all been there. Here are some topics you could bring up on those days when you aren’t sure what to discuss.
the stories you tell yourself about yourself
past relationships with friends or family (especially family of origin) that you might need to grieve
your hobbies and how they help you connect with yourself
your relationship with your body and what keeps it from being a relationship you are happy with
things you learned about yourself between sessions
unexpected things that therapy has taught you
boundaries are you setting for yourself to honor your unique needs
boundaries you want to set that are challenging to implement
your relationship with rest (what has the world/your family of origin/your friends/your job taught you or made you believe about rest?)
your inner child (are they difficult to access as an adult? Do they need something from you? What did you love to do as a kid that you wish you could do as an adult?)
your relationship with money
your relationship with your body
the challenges of living under systems of oppression (capitalism, racism, sexism, ableism, patriarchy, transphobia, etc.) and how they impact your mental health
your ability to know your capacity (mentally/physically/emotionally/socially) and take a break/get your needs met
something you’ve been wanting to bring up in therapy but haven’t felt ready to bring up yet (consider talking with your therapist about what you might need to feel ready/comfortable discussing the topic)
emotions that feel difficult to access or experience
wins that you’ve noticed that you haven’t talked about in therapy yet
One of my favorite tools, when clients don’t know what to talk about OR aren’t ready to start talking yet, is neurographic art or some drawing/coloring. What I love about these tools is that they give clients something to focus on (I draw/color too!) and can help them feel more comfortable talking. I’ve learned some really cool things about my clients during these drawing/coloring sessions.
Moving Forward
If you notice you often don’t know what to discuss with your therapist, tell them about it. Not only can this strengthen the therapeutic relationship, but it is also a great opportunity to share part of yourself with your therapist and work on it together.
